Original demo (why so many covers in here...lol)

I recently started writing songs, and lots of ideas of different genres have coem to me. Here's a link to the one that's closest to finished.

Please critique the lyrics, playing, etc. Suggestions for improvement are welcome.

I know i can't sing, so comments about that are wasted...lol...if I'm to go anywhere with this music thing, I'll need to get a vocalist. that's life.

https://soundcloud.com/user-781639532/song1allmylife

I'm not fishing for compliments...be real.

Thanks!

Wow, you wrote this?! It's really good!

I don't think you have a bad singing voice at all, you sing better than I do haha. I'm really digging the rhythm. Did you use a beat maker for the intro?

the drumbeat is an old casio keybord set to "60's rock" rhythm, and me fingerpicking my Martin. That's all tht's in the song.

I recorded it on the built in laptop mic using windows voice recorder....high tech stuff......

Yes, I wrote it.

Thanks for listening.

Wow, this song is really cool. I do like your voice too. I like how the verse stays low and then the chorus has a melody peak in there. The beat goes super well with the cool, upbeat guitar part. Well done, I'm excited to hear the bridge!

Ok guys, thanks again for all the suggestions........here's the latest version

I used a better mic and an akai "eieio" interface. I added a verse and an empty (just rhythm) insturmental break.

It's the same keyboard and guitar and all, just better recording equipment. It's still pretty raw.

I realize that the vocals and guitar are still a little sloppy, byt what do you guys think of the format and lyrics, etc?

https://soundcloud.com/user-781639532

I think it's great actually, I don't see how anything is sloppy!

The instrumental break was my favorite haha. Very well done.